We tell our kids a lot about what a situation means with our immediate reactions. This week, pay attention to the reaction you have when your child shares their challenges with you. What we think is often written all over our faces – even before we begin to speak! – and our kids create a lot of meaning from this.
Let me share an example.
Umbrella parenting is about helping our children feel less victimized by the day to day trials of life. If our child comes home and shares that someone was unkind to them, it’s common to react with surprise, anger and words like “that’s awful” or “how could they do that”. That can give your child the message that an injustice has been done to them, leaving them in the victim seat. Instead try reacting with empathy. Of course it’s hard when someone is unkind – but it isn’t a surprise, it’s a normal part of life. There are many reasons why kids can be unkind. Sometimes they have bad days, learn poor coping strategies from siblings or peers, don’t get enough sleep, and a million more. By expecting it to rain sometimes in our kid’s lives and reacting with empathy we tell our children that we know these things are hard but also something normal that everyone experiences from time to time.
Learn more about how to react to your child’s challenges in our blog post, “Turning Threats into Growth Opportunities: 4 Steps to Coach your Child through Challenges“.
Featured image by Ekaterina Kartushina on Unsplash