This month at the Umbrella Project, we are focusing our energy on Intrinsic Motivation.
Intrinsic Motivation is motivation that comes from inside you instead of from external rewards like money or grades. It’s the pleasure you get from doing something because it is interesting, challenging and absorbing. When we are intrinsically motivated, we do activities for enjoyment. We do not worry as much about the reward at the end.
Failing to hit the goals, marks or achievements we are hoping for can be tough. This is even more true when the outcome was the only thing we cared about.
When we enjoy the process, it takes some of the stress off the end result and makes us feel happier. In fact, being intrinsically motivated increases our wellbeing and our success at the end of the day.
Today’s Tip for Building Intrinsic Motivation
Today’s tip for building intrinsic motivation is about the limits we set on our kids.
If our kids could do whatever they wanted all day, they would have a high level of intrinsic motivation! But this is not a realistic approach to our lives.
If you want to set limits without damaging your child’s intrinsic motivation, informational rather than controlling limits are the way to go.
What is an informational limit? Find out with Dr. Jen in the video below!
Today as we explore autonomy, Dr. Jen shares a few insights into the environment that you’re creating with your parenting style. Most of us tend to parent somewhere between autonomy-supportive and a more controlled environment.
How does your child feel disclosing things happening in their life to you? Your parenting style is likely to influence their feelings and experience of this sharing.
Dr. Jen speaks to how you can indicate to your kids that you support their decisions in life and what influence this has on their wellbeing.
When we look at the data from the classroom, we see that students who perceive a teacher as unfair are more likely to have aggressive bullying-type behaviours.
A child who perceives an unfair situation does not feel in control. They will go out looking for control somewhere else as a result. Behaviours like aggression and bullying can be a response to feeling injustice somewhere else.
Make sure that your child understands why the rules exist, some of the principles behind them, and what you’re trying to accomplish with the rules. This will help to preserve their autonomy and prevent them from seeking out control in a more negative way.
Download a PDF of this infographic by clicking HERE.
This week, teach your children to learn about their own brains and what makes them function at their best.
For some, it might be more quiet through the day. For others, they need to move their bodies more to stay focused. In my house, one of my kids is particularly sensitive to low blood sugar and the other needs extra sleep to be in tip-top shape. The more our kids know about their own unique brains, the more they will be able to take charge of their own success.
This means they do not rely on others to create success for them.
It’s easy to expect that our children’s classrooms will be formatted for great learning. Too often, we rely on this to ensure our children are getting what they need from their education. In truth, it is extremely difficult for one teacher to attend to everyone’s unique needs. Autonomy is just the skill needed to help our children take more responsibility for their own learning.
One big source of stress in our kid’s lives is when they feel like they don’t have control over what happens.
For example, in a fight with a friend or a tough subject at school, part of what is distressing about those situations is a feeling of lacking control.
One way we can build autonomy for our children is to help them take a few small actions in response to the challenging situation. This will also help your child to learn how to protect their wellbeing in situations where they feel out of control.
