“I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.” – Abraham Lincoln
Over the thanksgiving weekend try this advanced challenge. It’s easy to empathize with the people most like us but can you empathize with your adversary? Think about someone you have a lot of conflict with – could be a co-worker, your sibling, parent, your neighbour or anyone who rubs you the wrong way. Now really make an effort to put yourself in their shoes and see what the world must look like from their perspective.
Our present actions are a reflection of everything we have been through. Millions of tiny experiences, accumulated through a lifetime, teach us about how to survive and get the love and attention we all crave as humans.
Unfortunately for some, those life teachings don’t always build positive coping skills or reinforce healthy relationship dynamics. Just truly seeing people for who they are and what they could be going through helps us take these interpersonal conflicts much less personally. This doesn’t mean we are justifying bad behaviour but instead understanding how it may have come to be. Can you be kind and empathetic to someone who pushes your buttons and may not return the kindness your way?
Your power resides, not in what you get in return from others, but in your own ability to give.