Do you ever feel like you’re just going through the motions when getting your kids to say they’re sorry? Kids are notorious for half-hearted apologies, especially to their siblings, so use those opportunities to teach your children the art of a better “sorry”. Apologies, when given from the heart, can be a great act of kindness. It feels good when someone takes ownership for their actions and acknowledges the impact their actions have had on you.
Have your child complete these 4 statements when they are apologizing:
- I’m sorry for… (be as specific as possible)
- This was wrong because… (think about the other person’s feelings and the impact you have had on them)
- In the future I will… (try to keep this positive and state what you will do instead of what you won’t)
- Will you forgive me?
Forgiveness is a powerful way to help both people move on. If forgiveness isn’t in the cards yet, statements like “Thank you for apologizing, but I just need a bit more time” can help acknowledge the apologizer and give the other person a little more time to process their feelings.
Print out this reminder and put it somewhere visible to help your children when they are apologizing. You will end up with a sorry that means something to both the giver and the receiver.
Parenting is a busy job and these added steps do take up time. After using this for a few months in our household, we switched to the long and short versions of sorry. We now save the long version for ‘sorrys’ that don’t feel sincere and need a little more attention. If the kids make their sincerity felt with a shorter apology, we don’t need to move on to the longer version.