Today Dr. Jen talks about one of the most foundational principles of mindful parenting.
That is: become a better listener for your child.
Most of us divide our attention every day between different tasks. Becoming a good listener for your child can have a powerful impact on their well-being and help them learn how to be mindful themselves.
Dr. Jen discusses some approaches to use in becoming a better listener, such as having important conversations with your child in an environment where you’re not distracted.
Today’s tip for parenting from a mindful perspective is… try not to allow your emotional state to dictate the consequences or discipline that you give your children.
Feelings like anger and frustration are very normal parenting feelings. Kids respond better when they can predict what will happen when they behave in certain ways. This makes it important not to parent from a place of anger or frustration.
To help you achieve this, put a space between your emotional reaction to your child and the discipline that you’re giving them for a behaviour. That might look like walking away for a few minutes and taking a deep breath.
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‘I lost my temper. What I said was wrong. I interrupted you. I misunderstood what you were trying to say. I wasn’t listening….’ Mistakes!! They’re everywhere.
As parents, there is a common misconception that we always need to be right and perfect in the eyes of our children. Let’s face it… nobody loves making mistakes. Not owning our feelings, good and bad, can actually make us quite unapproachable and falsely give our kids the impression that they are not good enough in our eyes when they fail, make mistakes, or have big feelings.
Simply saying ‘I’m sorry. I lost my temper. That’s not how I wanted to react’ can powerfully demonstrate to your child that it’s normal to have moments like this.
Here are a few of the ways that admitting fault, taking ownership and sharing how we get through mistakes can be a strong parenting tool. It can have some profound benefits when it comes to your child’s well-being:
Your child will see that it is OK to make mistakes and to take ownership for them.
Your child will believe you more when you empathize with them and your bond with them will strengthen.
Your child will learn that there are sunny days on the other side of rainy ones.
You won’t have to instruct your child how to be resilient. They will have a great example right in front of them.
You increase the chances your child will learn from their own mistakes instead of externalizing them.
Rather than wishing things were different, accepting ‘what is’ can help to boost your child’s happiness and contentment.
It is so important to help your children set realistic expectations of what they can achieve. This makes it easier for your child to be mindful of their capacity, thoughts, and feelings.
Let your child know that they can accept ‘what is’ and still work towards positive change. Dr. Jen explains more in the video below.
We want to hear your stories about Mindfulness this February!
Head on over to our new Instagram account (@umbrellapjct) for a chance to WIN this month!
Simply comment on any of our posts using the hashtag #Mindfulness. Share with us how you are practicing mindfulness this month at home or at school.
Comment using the hashtag any time before 12pm on February 28th 2019 to be entered into the contest.
We will randomly select three winners to receive a book by Toronto-based author Sarah Kraftchuk. Her books, like Love to be me!, encourage the world to become a kinder place by beginning with self-kindness.
